New Funny SMS Jokes Collection in Hindi Free

Zaruri Nahi Agar Me Aapko, Sms
Bheju To Aap Bi Muje Sms Hi
Bheje, Aap Mujhe Friz, T.V,
Cbz Bike, Honda City Car, Mobile
Ya Fir Cash Bhi Bhej Sakte Ho.

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 Umar Ki Raah Mein Jazbaat Badal Jate
Hai, Waqt Ki Aandhi Me Hallat Badal
Jaate Hai, Sochta Hoon Kaam Kar
Kar Ke Record Toddun, Lekin Kambhakt
Salary Dekhte He Khayal Badal Jate Hai.

 ************************************

 ड़को को उस समय सबसे ज्यादा गुस्सा आता है
जब ऑटो में 2 लड़कियों के बीच में लड़का बैठा हो
तब तीसरी लड़की के आने से
ऑटो वाला बोले भाई तू आगे आजा...



 कमजोर दिल वाले ईसे ना पढें…. खतरनाक शायरी
खिडकी से देखा तो रस्ते पे कोई नही था
खिडकी से देखा तो रस्ते पे कोई नही था
वाह वाह
फिर रस्ते पे जाके देखा तो खिडकी मै कोई नही था |

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 Jab tak ladkiyon ki shaadi na ho jaye wo decide nahi kar pati unko kaisa ladka chahiye.
Ladkon ki toh baat hi alag hai
khubsurat ladki dekhte hi family planning kar lete hai.

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 पत्नी ~ आप कभी बिहार गए हैं?
पति ~ नहीं
पत्नी ~ क्या हम वहां रहने जा रहे हैं?
पति ~ नहीं
पत्नी ~ बिहार में आपके रिश्तेदार चुनाव लड़ रहे हैं?
पति ~ नहीं
पत्नी ~ तो रिमोट इधर दे दो

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 पहले नंबर व्यस्त रहने से दिल टूटा करते थे,
और
आजकल Whatsapp पर देर से
ब्लू टीक लगने से दिल टूटा करते हैं।

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घड़ी-घड़ी सेल्फ़ी खींचने वाली
लडकियों के मोबाइल
अब कुछ कुछ टाइम बाद खुद ही
बोल पड़ते है चलो मुँह बनाओ बेबी
सेल्फ़ी लेनी है

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 ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़
दुल्हन ने "पिए हुए दूल्हे" की बारात लौटाई
इसको देखकर कई शादी-शुदा सोच रहे हैं
"काश हम भी उस दिन पीकर गए होते"

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 Micheal Jackson didn't died by drugs ovr doze,
those wer rumours!!
He got major heart attack after seeing that
he cannot do the dance steps of Rajnikanth!

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 Kanjoos Baap Bachchon Se:
Jo Raat Ko Khana Nahi Khayega Use 5 Rs Dunga.
Bachche 5 Rs Le Kar So Gaye.
Subah Baap Bola:
Jo 5 Rs Dega.. Usi Ko Naashta Milega.

 ************************************

 Munna: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle
patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya
to Dr. Logo ki to wat lag jayegi na...

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 BIMAARI In Bollywood Style..

1. Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat bhar Dhuwaan Chale= FEVER.
2. Tadap Tadap K Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi= HEART ATTACK
3. Bidi Jalayile Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai= ACIDITY.
4. Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai Yaara Main Kya Karu= MOTIYABIND.
5. Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kahna= MEMORY LOSS.
6. Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole=MIRGI.
7. Juda Hoke Bhi TU Mujhme Kanhi Baaki Hai= LOOSEMOTION.!

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 1 Bacha bohat der se ro raha tha
Maa ne pocha
Mere laal ko kya chahiye?
Toffee
Bhishkit
Ya
Milk?
Bachcha:
Bas Ek sanam chahie
aashqi ke liye..!!

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 2 Judwa Bachche..
1st Hans ke Lot Pot ho raha tha..
2nd Udaas tha.
Dad: Tum itna kyun Hans rahe ho.
Son: Mummy ne itni thand mein
dono bar isi ko Nehla Diya.. haha

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 पप्पू सड़क पर जा रहा था
कि तभी एक चिडि़या उसके
सिर पर बीट करके उड़ गई!!!!!
रूमाल से सिर साफ करते
हुए पप्पू बोला
- भगवान का लाख लाख शुक्र है
कि उसने गाय भैंसों को
उड़ने के लायक नहीं बनाया.. ..

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 ''Shadi par pathan ne munh dikhai mein Biwi ko Gulaab ka phool diya,
Biwi:mujhe ye nahi chahiye,:>
Koi sonay ki cheez do.
Pathan ne
"Neend ki goli de di".

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 Santa Auto Wale Se - Kyu Bhai Hanuman mandir jayega auto?
auto wala- HA
Santa- To Phir Aate Samay Parsad lete aana..!!!

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 Santa:- What Is A Girlfriend?
Banta:- Addition Of Problems, Subtraction Of Money, Multiplication Of Enemies & Division Of Friends..

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 Santa;
Naukar Se-Jara Dekh To Bahar Suraj Niklaa Hai Ya Nahi
Naukar;
Bahar To Andhera Hai,
Santa:
To Torch Jala Kar Dekh Le Kaamchor..!

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 Banta-Yaar santa TU apen colege ka naam subse alag Rkhana. santa NE College ka naam rakha. SANTA SINGH GIRL COLLEGE 4 BOY'S.

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 Santa Electric Shop Me-:
2 Pankhe Dena 1 Ladies Or 1 Gents.
Salesman: Pankho Me Ladies Or Gents Nhi Hota




Santa: Kaise Nahi Hota
Ek Bajaj Ka De Or
Ek Usha Ka.

 ************************************

 Santa Ka Mobile Toilet Me Gir Gya.
.Tbhi Toilet Devta Prakat Hua or 1 Golden Clr Ka Mobile Use Dene Lga.
.Santa Bola: Nhi Mera Mobile Soney Ka Nhi Tha.
Devta Bola: Abey Gdhe Dho Le Ise. Ye Tera Hi Hai.

 ************************************

 Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge?
Student: shaadi..!!!!!!
Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?…..
Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
Student: dulhan
Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade hokar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
Student- bahu laaunga
Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
Student: pota
Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Student: hum do humare do.

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Why I hate CID :(
Example:
LADY: Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
DAYA: Kya? Rahul Tumhara Bhai Tha?
LADY: Haan, Rahul Mera Bhai Tha
ABHIJEET: Rahul Sach me Tumhara
Bhai Tha???
LADY: Ha Sir...Wo Mera Bhai Tha
ACP: My God, Iska Matlab, Tum Rahul
Ki Behen Ho .... :p

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 Train Chali, Ramu 1 dibbe me chad gaya..
T.T bola - Kyu jee, Nazar nahi aata,
Ye ladies ka Dibba hai..
Ramu - Sorry,
Mere ko laga aap MARD ho.

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 salman style mssg
VEER janha se mssg karunga 5-10 mssg ek saath bhej dunga
WANTED
ek baar jo maine sms karni suru kar diya to uske baad main apni balance ki bhi nahi sochta
DABBANG
hum tumhare mobile mein itne sms karenge ki confused ho jaoge ki koun si padhe aur koun si delete karein
READY
barah mahine mein barah tariko se tujhko sms karuna re
BODY GUARD
mujhpe ek ehshan karna mujhe mera hi mssg forward mat karna.

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 Girls on Facebook:
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
Changed her profile picture.
16 more similar stories...
Boys on Facebook:
Added Rita
Added Pooja
Added Rina
Added Reema
Added Rekha
20 more similar stories....
Hit Like if you agree :D :D

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 Boy to Girl - i love you
Girl- sakal dekhi h apni?
Boy - sakal pe mat ja mere pass 3 gase silender coonection hai :P

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 Boy2god- bhagwan 100 sal apke liye kitna hai
god- 1 sec
boy- or 100 crore rs,
god-1 coin
boy-mujhe 1 coin de do bhagwan
god- 1 sec ruk...

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 Nark me bahut sare log maza kar rhe the
God-ye log nark me bhi aisa kar rhe hain
Yamraj-hostel wale hain
saale kahi bhi set ho jate hai......

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 Boy: I Love U
Girl: But I Love Someone
Else,
Boy: Okay!
No Problem,
Ur happiness Is More Important
For Me
Than Ur Love. . . :/
MORAL: Jahan Aur Kuch Nhi Kr
Sakte
Wahan Dialogue To Acche
Bolne Chahiye ! !
 ************************************

 God Imran Hashmi se: Agle
janam me kya ban'na pasand
karoge...??
Imran: Rawan :D .
God: Wo Kyu.....??
Imran: ab kya batau 1 muh
se KiSsss kar kar ke thak gaya
hoon..

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 Side Effect Of Studying 2 Much:
A Guy Went To A Resturant, He Wanted To See The Menu But He Forgot WhAt It Is Called;
He Asked Waiter,
"Syllabus Lana Zra";-

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 * Gorakhpur STYLE *

BOY-I LOVE YOU.
GIRL-AISA THAPPAD DUNGI KI SIDHA STATION PAR GIROGE.
BOY-Tani dhire mariha, hamke golghar chaurhawa pe kaam ba.

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 True Lines....:
Mohobbbbat Toh Sirf Dil Dekhkar
hi ki
Jati hai....,
Chehra Dekh kar toh Log Setting
hi
Karte hai....

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Hafeez Ko Dekh K To Mujhe Apna Bachpan Yad Aata
Hai ..
Pehle Bating B Meri ..
Pehle Bowling B Meri
Aur
Captain B Main :

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 Wife:
Meri Tabyat Thek Nahi Lag Rahi Hai
Husband:
Ohhh, Par Me To Shoping Pe Jane Ka Soch Raha
Tha...
Wife:
Me Mazaq kar Rahi Thi... :-)
Husband:
Mai Bhi Mazaq kar Raha Tha. Chal uth k Roti Paka...

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 Jab Jab Suraj Dhalne Lagta H
Uska Naam Mere Honto Pe Khilne Lagta He
Kuch Is Tarah Se Uski Yaad Aati H
Ki
Zndgi Ka Har Pal Mehakne Lagta He

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  GIRL (FISH TANK KO DEKH K BOLI)- "Machaliya Itni Sundar Kyun Hoti Hain?
BOY(SPRITE PITE HUE): Kyunki Woh Kapde Nahi Pahnti..!
SIDHI BAAT NO BAKWAS!. ;)=))

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 An MBA student went 2 his home wid his gf after completing his MBA......
His dad asked , who is she??
Son replied
My campus selection..

 ************************************

 At Border Indian officer shouts at
Pakistani Spy,"Goli" Mar dunga.
Pak Spy
Replies:"Goli" se darr nahi lagta
Sahab,"Kohli" se lagta he

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 Bechara shadi-shuda insaan , biwi
k zulm ka mara !
Patni Bazaar Se Shopping Karke
Ghar Aayi, Pati Ne Dekha Aur Use
Bola
Pati: “Arrey Ye Kya, Tum Ek Aur Suit
Le Aayi? Abhi Parson Hi To…”
Biwi Chilla Kar Boli: “Kya Kaha? Kya
Parso? Bolo… Kya Kaha Tumne? Kya
Parso, Parso Kya, Bolo Jaldi Batao,
Kya Parso? Aj tumari kher ni”
Pati Ghabrate Hue: “Kuch Nahi,
Main To Bas Ye Keh Raha Tha Ki
Parso Bhi Ek Hi Suit Layi Thi, Aaj To
Do Le Aati“ =

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 Teacher aur Umpire ek jaise
hote hain..
Dono karte kuch nahi, bas
khade khade Ungli karte rehte
hain.!!

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 DRINKERS movies banate toh-
1)Soda Akbar
2)Rab Ne Pila di Thodi
3)Rum de basanti
4)Hum tight ho chuke sanam
5)Beer Zaara
6)Bewde Zameen par.

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 Enufffff .. Stop Making Fun Of
Pakistani Players ... Don't Forget ... .
They Had WON The TOSS atleast...

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Girl 1 to Girl 2:- U r beautiful.
Girl 2- Thanks, U r beautiful too :)
Boy 1 to Boy 2:- U r handsome.. :)
Boy 2:- Jija banale phir.

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 Boss:mere liye ek shisha le ke aao,
Jisme mai apna muh dekh saku...!
Santa:nahi mila sir,
Sab shisho par mera hi Muh Dikhay de raha tha.

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 A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector.
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me forOverspeed,
200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet.

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 HoSpital me sare Pagal Ro Rahe te
1 Pagal Chupchup Soya tha.Doctor N Pucha-Tum Q Shanti se Soye ho?
Pagal-Bewakuf,mai mar chuka hu Isliye to sab Ro rhe hai..

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 Solid Insult
Wife:Soch rahi hun ap k
sath Dubai,UK ghoom
aaon kitney paise... lagen
ge?
Husband:kuch bhi nahi.
Wife:Wo kaise?
Husband:Sochne k paise
nahi lagtey :

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 1pagal Aaina Dekh k sochne lga,
isko kahin dekha h.
thodi der sochne k baad
."O Teri " ye to wohi hai
.jo Mere sath us din Baal ktwa raha tha

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 Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother. Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.

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 Ek Sharif Aadmi Ko Kya Chahiye:
Ek Biwi Jo Pyaar Kare,
Ek Biwi Jo Achha Khaana Banaye,
Ek Biwi Jo bacho ko sambhale
aur
TEENO Biwiya Mil Julkar Rahe...


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