Funny Sms Messages - Funny Sms Quotes, Wishes, Mobiles ...

मोहब्बत के खर्चो की बड़ी लंबी कहानी है,
कभी फिल्म दिखानी है तो कभी शोपिंग करानी है,
मास्टर रोज कहता है कहाँ है फीस के पैसे?
उसे समझाऊं मैं कैसे की मुझे छोरी पटानी है!!

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 Teri ulfat ko kabhi nakam na hone denge
Teri DOSTI ko kabhi badnam na hone denge
Meri zindagi main Suraj nikle na nikle
Teri zindagi main kabhi shaam na hone denge…

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 Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai. 

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 Hum Aaj Bhi Dil Ka Aashiyana Sajane Se Darte Hain,
Baagon Mein Phool Khilaney Se Darte Hain,
Hamari Ek Pasand Se Tut Jaayeinge Hazaaro Dil,
Tabhi Toh Hum Aaj Bhi Girlfriend Bananey Se Darte Hain…



 Dard Ne Kisiko Tadpaya Na Hota,
Aankho Ne Kisi ko Rulaya Na Hota,
Khushiya He Khusiya Hote Har Kise Ke Paas,
Agr RAB Ne Ladkiyo Ko Banaya Na Hota!

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 Aashiq Pagal Ho Jaate Hai Pyar Me,
Baki Kasar Puri Ho Jaate Hai Intizaar Me,
Magr Ye Dard Dilruba Nhi Smjhte,
Gol Gappe Khate Firte Hai Wo To Bazaar Me

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 Chicken Ready, Yes Boss
Omlet Ready,Yes Boss
Mutton Ready, No Boss
Bakra Abhi SMS Padh Raha Hai.

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 Dil k mahman ban jao
Ankho k arman ban jao
Honto ki muskan ban jao.
Oh Aap Ho,
I am sorry yaar:
Tum to bas:
Insaan Ban Jao.

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 Dava aur Daru me kya differrence hai..?
DAVA GIRLFRND HOYI HAI,
" JISME EXPIRY DATE HOTI HAI...
AUR
DARU WIFE HAI
"JITNI PURANI HOGI UTNA SIR CHAD KE BOLEGI...

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 Agar kabhi hum sms na kare,
To dil chota mat karna ,
Bas dil par haath rakhna aur kehna....
"Shayad aaj hamara dost mobile se nahi,
Dil se yaad kar raha hai"

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 Boys girls ko item kyo kahte hai?
Kyoki item means maal
Maal means paisa
Paisa means laxmi
Aur ladkiyo ko ghar ki laxmi kahte hai
"Rishta vahi soch naw"

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 Man to a Air hostess: What's your name?
Air Hostess: Eva Benz
Man: Lovely name.
Any relationship with Mercedes Benz?
Air Hostess: Yes,
Our maintenance cost is the same.

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 1student ko apni Life mai,
Sabse zyada praoud kab hota hai ?
Jab usko exam mai kuch na aata ho,
Aur piche se teacher aake kahe
Copy chupa lo picche wala dekh reha hai. 

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 Aap kbhi akele baithe aur
Koi apko nahi dekh raha.
Itne me aap apni finger
Apni nose k andr daalte ho
Aur jo nikalta hai
Uske saath kya karte ho
1. Deewar pe chipka dete ho
2. Bed k neeche laga dete ho.
3. Sofa ya chair pe kahi laga dete ho.
4. Yaa uski ball bna kar fek dete ho.
Answer pakka dena
Warna main samjhunga kha lete ho

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 A 15 yrs old girl was
Married to a 75 yrs old man,
On their first night,
Both of them ended up crying...
Why???
Cos' the girl don't know
anything and the old man had
Forgotten everything!

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 Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum
To husband se hisse mein aate hai,
Aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!

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 Life mein 2 bate hamesha yaad rakhna
1. Hawa chalti he to patte hilte hai.
2. Nahi chalti, to nahi hilte.
Bas bhai Thanks mat bolna,
Jab tak knowledge hai dete rahenge.

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 Mobile phone has solved
All the problems of lovers.
You see anyone talking
On phone and conversation will be,
"You liar. You don't love me.
I hate you." :D

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 Koi aankhon se baat kar leta hai,
Koi aankhon mein mulaqat kar leta hai,
Bda mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi english mein baatkar leta hai.

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 Exam funda-
Kisi ko kisi bhi exams me
Pass karwana ho to mujhe
Rs.15OOO Aur uska
Roll number send kar dena
Mai uske liye DUA karunga..

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 Sasural me damad ki izzat kyo zada hoti he ?
Kyoki vo jante he ki
Ye vohi mahaan aadmi he
Jisne hamare ghar ka
Toofan sambhal rakha hai..

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 1. POLICE MAN - Sab
Mujh Se Darte
Hai Or Main Biwi Se
2. MOCHI- Main Juto Ki
Marammat
Karta Hu Or Biwi Meri
3. TEACHER- Main School
Me
Lecture Deta Hu or Ghar
Me Sirf
Sunta Hu.
4. OFFICER- Main Office
Me BOSS
Hu or Ghar Me Naukar
5. JUDGE- Main Court Me
Faisale
Sunata Hu or Ghar Me
Khud Insaaf
Ka Talabgar
Faisala Aapke Hath Me
Hai,
Kunware Raho, Khush
Raho.
Note- Jo Shadi Kar Chuke
Hai Sabr
Kare or Jinki Nahi Hui Wo na kre...

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 What is confidence??
5 boys decided to propose a girl,
4 came wit roses,1 came with pandit..!!
Now tht's confidence Got it.

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Girl- Ye pyar kaise hota h?
Boy-Jab time kharab chal raha ho,
Shani ki dsha kharab ho,
Apka mangal bhari ho or
Bhagwan maza lene k mud me ho
Tb pyr ho jata hai.

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Hi,
Are you Praful's friend?
I am massaging from his cell.
If you meet him then,
Pls tell him to come & take his mobile from me.
He left it on my bed last night.
-sunny Leone

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SALARY aur PERIOD
Ek jaise hote hain..
30 din me 1 baar aati hai
Aur
4-5 din me khatm ho jati hai..
Late aaye to tension
Aur
Agar na aaye to Samjho
WATT lag gayi....

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Juni Kahevat:
"Maa Te Maa Bija Badha Van Vagda Na Vaa"
Navi Kahevat:
"Patni E Patni Ane Biji Badhi
Swadisht Chattni...!!!"

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Boy 1 to Boy 2
Tum us ladki ke peeche kyu pade ho.?
Uska to pahle se hi Bf hai..
Boy 2 Smart Rply
Khali kursi par to koi bhi baith sakta hai..
Dum hai to kisi ko utha ke baitho..

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Every girl has her best friend,
Boyfriend and true love.
But she's really lucky
If they're all the same person.

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Girl's heart is like water,
Boy's heart is like mobile,
Water falls on mobile,
Or
Mobile falls in water,
The damage is for mobile only.

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Awesum Fact.
Colleges And School Ko Log"SWARG" Bolte He.
Hmmm.
Tabhi Toh Bujurg Log Kehete Hai Ke
Jodiya Swarg Me Banti Hai.

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Kya Moh-Maya Hai!!
Apna Baccha Roye To,
Dil Medard Hota He Aur
Dusre Karoye To Sir Me..
Apni Biwi Roye To Sir Me Dard Hota He
Aur Dusre Ki Roye To Dil Me.

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When It Is Hard To Hide Your Tears,
Then Never Mind, Start Cutting An Onion,
Let The Heart Cry,
You Just Blame The Onion.

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One Faadu Question...
Larki Ko Phansana Zaida Mushkil Hai
Ya
Phansi Huyi Larki Sey
Jaan Churwaana Zaida Mushkil Hai?

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Updesh:
Daru Pine Se Jindgi Ki Problem Solve Nahi Hoti.
Gyaan:
Aise To Juice Pine Se Bhi,
Problem Solve Nahi Hoti.
Isliye Karo Wohi Jo Lage Sahi..!!

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New Theory:-
Argument Wins The Person,
But Loses The Relation.
So Don't Argue With Ur Friends Just.
Slap Them & Say, Kam Bol Saale Kam.

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Universal Truth :
Kaamyabi "TOILET" Ki
Bdbu Ki Tarah Hoti Hai!!
Bardasht Tabhi
Hoti Hai.
Jab Apni Ho.

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Wo Subah Ka Alarm Wo Pani Ki Thandk
Wo Shampu Ki Botal Wo Liril Ki Tazgi
Wo Naya Kapdo Ka Sukun Tum Kya Jano
Ye To Roz Nahane Wale Hi Jane.

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BEFORE MARRIAGE..
Boy : I have been waiting for this day
Girl : Do you want me to leave ?
Boy : No
Girl : Do You Love Me ?
Boy : Of course
Girl : Will you ever cheat me ?
Boy : Never in my life
Girl : Will you ever kiss me ?
Boy : Every chance I get
Girl : Will you hit me ?
Boy : Are you crazy ?
Girl : Can I trust you ?
Boy : Yes
Girl : Sweet heart


AFTER MARRIAGE :
Fun starts now (Read from bottom to top)







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