Funny Dirty Jokes in Hindi , Whatsapp Non Veg Jokes

Admi Sardar Se: "Insaan Or Sardar
Mei
Kya Faraq Hai"
Sardar Replied: . . .
. . . "Sardar AqaLMand Hota Hai..
Insaan
Nahi Hota" Point 2 B Noted ;->

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 Sardar Train Ka Intezar Kar Raha Tha,
Train Aayi,
Upar Likha Tha Bombay Mail,
Wo Bhag Ke Chadh Gaya Aur Biwi Se Kha:
Jab Bombay Female Aye To Tum Bhi Chad Jana

 *************************************

 Shadi Me 1 Sardar Ne Dish Pe Tissue Paper Dekh
K Socha Shayad Ye Bhi Khane Ki Chiz Hai,
Jaise Hi Wo Khane Laga,
4-5 Sardar Jor Se Bole "Na Kha Oye Ekdum Feeka
Hai"
Heart

 *************************************

 Sardar : Yaar Achha Hua
Me India Me Paida Hua
America Me Nahi
Dost : Kyu America Me
Hota To Kya Hota ?
Sardar : Tu Bhi Na
Mujhe English Kahan Aati Hai

 

 Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are wah Vo kaise?
sardar- Main Girls collage ka bus driver Hu na.

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Ek sardar barf ka tukda hath me le kar gaur se dekh raha tha.
Kisi ne puchha kya kar rahe ho?
Sardar bola dekh raha hu ye leak kaha se ho raha hai…

 *************************************

 Sardar : Roz Subah 50 Ladkiya Mera Intezar Karti Hain
Man- Are Wah Vo Kaise?
Sardar- Main Girls College Ka Bus Driver Hu Na

 *************************************

 Master- 2 Me Se 2 Gaye To Kitne Rahe?
Sardar- Samjh Me Nahi Aya Masterji.
Mster - Beta Tumare Pas 2 Roti Hai,tumne 2 Roti Khali,tumare Pas Kya Bacha?
Sardar- Sabji..

 *************************************

 :: latest sardar sms jokes ::
Sardar Train me susu karne gaya.
Wife: Aapka pant gila kaise hua?
Sardar: Waha likha tha- Sharir ka koi ang baahar na nikale..

 *************************************

 Sardar:Meri Bevi Itna Mazak Krti Hy K Kya Bataon
DosT:Kya Mazak Krti Ha?
SArdar:Kal Mai Ghar Gya Uski Ankhon Par Hath Rakha Or Wo Mazak Ma Boli
Dudhwala.

 *************************************

 Sardar GUN ly kr Darwaazay pr Kharaa huaa thaa
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher kaa Shikaar karnay jaa Rahaa hun
Wife: Tou Jao
Sardar: Kaise Jaon bahar KUTTA Kharaa hei

 *************************************

 4 Sardar Train Ke Piche Bhag Rahe The,
2 Chad Gaye, Train Me Pesengar Ne Kaha
Weldone,
Sardar... Khak Weldone Hum To Chhodne Aye The
Jana To Unhe Tha

 *************************************

 :: Best sardar jokes ::
Sardar GUN ly kr Darwaazay pr Kharaa huaa thaa
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher kaa Shikaar karnay jaa Rahaa hun
Wife: Tou Jao
Sardar: Kaise Jaon bahar KUTTA Kharaa hei

 *************************************

 1 Srdar: Yaar Wo Ladki behri lagti he. Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai
2 srdar: Wo kaise?
1 srdar: Mene”I love you” kaha, to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.

 *************************************

 ‚‚ Short Sardar Jokes ‚‚
Sardar train ka intzar kar raha tha,
train aai,
upar likha tha Bombay MAIL,
wo bhag k chadh gaya aur biwi se kha:
Jab Bombay Female aye to tum bhi chad jana

 *************************************

 Sardar: Aaj ka din bohot bura guzra,
Darwaza khola kundi haath mein,
Nul khola tooti haath mein,
Suitcase uthaya handle haath mein,
Ab dar raha hoon susu karu ke na karun..

 *************************************

 Ek sardar apne bete se bola :
Oye ghabra mat tu sher ka puttar hai.
Beta : Oye pape achcha hua bata diya,
Teacher bhi poochti hai
Ki tu kis janwar ki aulad hai..

 *************************************

 Sardar: Yaar ye "SENT MESSAGE" Kya hota he?
2nd sardar: Ghochu,
Saale, Bevkuf, Tune Hi Srdaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He.
Sent Message Matlab "Khushbu Wala Message.

 *************************************

 A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked
a question -
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

 *************************************

 Ek sardar ek bade hospital me doctor tha. Sardar ke saath waha ek nurse uske saath kaam karti thi. Dhire dhire sardar ko us nurse se pyar ho gaya usne valentine day ko us nurse ko propose karte huve kaha, "I Love You, Sister"

 *************************************

 Sardar ji apko logo ne kyon mara ?
Sardar: “arey yaar meri photo bus mein gir gai thi,
Maine kaha madam zara saari upar kijiye
Photo lena hai, bus

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 k sardar darwaze k bahir bandook liye khra tha, his wife askes him” y r u standing here”. Sardar ji bole “sher k shikar pe ja raha hoon.” wife : “to jaao na!” sardar ji : “kese jaoon bahar Kutta khada hain!”

 *************************************

 Air hostess: Sir kya loge?
Jatt: Milk Badam, Kheer, Bread Pakora n Tandoori Chicken wid Naan..
Airhostess: Sir tusi jahaaz te aaye ho,.
Apne PYO DE VYAAH te nhi!.

 *************************************

 Sardar ke ghar chor aa gaya,
sardar ne dekha to chor bhaga...
Sardar bhagta bhagta chor se bhi agee nikal gaya..
Sardar:Ek to chori uper se mujhse race..?

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 Admi:Sardar ji aap ka ek dant blue Q hai?
Sardar:Yaar main ne ink lagayi hoyi hai,
Admi:Hain! Wo Q ji
Sardar: oye khoty "bluetooth" da zamana hai.

 *************************************

 Sardar Wrote BILL GATES
Abt PCS & WINDOWS Problmz
1- My Child Learnd
MS WORD Nw He Wants
MS SENTENCE
2 - Find Only RE-CYCLE
But No RE-SCOOTER
I Need It, As I Owe A
Vespa Scooter
3 - I See MS OFFICE But I
Need MS HOME, As I Use
PC At Home
4 - Finaly, Howz Dat
Ur Name Is GATES But
U r Selling WINDOWS ...

 *************************************

 A Donkey Kicked Sardar And Ran Away,
Sardar Ran To Catch The Donkey.
He Saw A Zebra And Started Beating It And Said,
Sala Tracksuit Pahan Ke Dhoka De Raha Hai.

  *************************************

 Sardar in Hotel-
Mai Yaha Nai Rahunga,
Mere Paise Wapas Karo!
Itna Chota Room?
Mujhe Jaanwar Samjha Hai kya?
Waiter- Mere bap!
Room Me Chal,
Ye Lift HAI.

 *************************************

 Sardar ne shok me roza rakh lia
he asked 2 his son:vekh,suraj dooba
son:nai g
again asked: dooba kia
son:nai g
Sardar:lagda hay menu lay k he dubay ga

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 Ek sardar ko koi mobile pe tang kar raha tha,
Sardar ne new sim khareed kar usko sms kiya:
"MAINE WO NUMBER BAND KAR DIYA HAI
AB TERA BAAP BHI MUJHE TANG NAHI KAR SAKTA "

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 Sardar To His Friend.
I Kiss My Wife Everyday Before I Go To Office..
& U?
Friend: I Kiss Ur Wife After U Go To Office.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha..i M The First.

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 Sardar: Yaar ye "SENT MESSAGE" Kya hota he?
2nd sardar: Ghochu,
Saale, Bevkuf, Tune Hi Srdaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He.
Sent Message Matlab "Khushbu Wala Message..

 *************************************

 Teacher: What Is The Difference
Between Landline & Mobile?
Sardar: Landline Par Number
Hum Ungli Se Dial Karte Han
Aur Mobile Par Anguthe Se..

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 Sardar K Truck K Peechay Likha Tha
"Chota Parivar Sukhi Parivar"
Or Uske Nechay
Tinu, Minu, Chintu, Chinky, Pinky, Guddu, Guddi, Sonu, Monu,
Te Sohan De Papa Di Gaddi!

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 Rajnikant's Power
Talwar Baazi Ke
Muqabley Me..
1 Chines Ne Baal Ke Do
Tukde Kar Diye..
1 Japnies Ne Udti Hui
Makhi Ki
Gardan Kaat Di..
Rajnikant Ne Machar
Udaya..
Talwaar Ghumayi
But
Machar Udta Hi Raha..
Japnis: Machar To Ud
Rha Hai..
Rajnikant Muskurate
Hue Bola :
Udd To Raha Hai..,
But
Kabi Baap Nahi Ban
Payegaaa...!!;-)

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 TITANIC bahut zabardast film thi,
Par ek raaz jo sab ko nahi pata…
Wo ye hai ki..
Titanic ki puri shooting
Rajnikanth ke BATHTAB mein hui thi.

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 रजनीकांत: आज मेरे कुत्ते ने अण्डा दिया.
बिग-बी: कुत्ते कब से अण्डा देने लगे???
रजनीकांत: ये रजनी की स्टाइल है. मैंने अपनी मुर्गी का नाम कुत्ता रखा है.

 *************************************

 आधे घंटे बाद शादी की पार्टी में आसमान से एक उड़नतश्तरी उतरी। उसमे से एक एलियन बाहर आया और हाथ जोड़ के रजनीकांत से बोला, “सर, प्लीज आवाज कम कर लीजिये, कल मेरे बच्चे का एग्जाम

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 Ek Bar Rajnikant Ka 10 Rs Ka Note
3rd Floor Se Niche Gir Gaya.
Jab Wo Niche Aya To Wo Note Nahi Mila.
Kyou Kyonki Wo Note Girne Se Pehle
Rajinikant Niche Pahonch Chuka Tha.

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 Recently china airports were
closed due to heavy fog ........
Later
it was discovered that
Rajanikanth was smoking in
India!

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 ek Khaufnak andheri raat me 12 baje ek bhoot doosre bhoot ko samja raha tha ghabra mat....
Ye sab tere dimag ka vahem h koi Rajnikant- vajnikantnai nahi hota....:)

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 Question: What is the moral of
Rajnikant’s movie
“ROBOT
Answer: Ladki sirf insan ka hi nai
MACHINE ka bhi dimag kharab kr sakti
hai.

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 Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.
Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

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 Khuda Kare Tujhe Khushiyan Hazaar Mile,
Mujhse Bhi Achcha Yaar Mile,
Meri Girlfriend Tujhe Bandhe RAKHI,
Aur Ek AUR Behan Ka Pyaar Mile.

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 Lagaan by RAJNEEKANT
Climax scene: 1 ball 20 runs needed.
Bowler bowls, Rajni hits ball
Splits in 4 pieces. All pieces go for 6's.
India wins!!

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 Premika- Lal Quila red kyon hai?
Premi- Kyon ki Rajnikanth ne paan kha ke uspe thuka tha.
Aur ab ye mat puchna Taj Mahal white..kyo hai???

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 Premika- Lal Quila red kyon hai?
Premi- Kyon ki Rajnikanth ne paan kha ke uspe thuka tha.
Aur ab ye mat puchna Taj Mahal white..kyo hai???

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Micheal Jackson didn't died by drugs ovr doze,
those wer rumours!!
He got major heart attack after seeing that
he cannot do the dance steps of Rajnikanth!!

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 k Makan Ma AAG Lagi
Public: Andar Koik 6, Ene jaldi bahar Kadho
Rajnikant Aag Ma Kudi andar Gyo
Andar jaine Joyu to Naresh Kanodia Havan karto hato.

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 1 var Rajnikant Swimming karva
Hind Mahasagar Pahochyo
Tarta Tarta Madh Dariye Pahochyo
Tya tene Joyu K
Naresh Kanodia Shark(Fish) ne Mamra Khavdavto hato.

 *************************************

 CID JOKES
Good morning ke baad afternoon hua hai,
Good morning ke baad afternoon hua hai,
Daya ye sadharan maut nahi iska khoon hua hai.

 *************************************

 About c.i.d
Rin lagaya or daag gaya
Wah Wah
Rin lagaya or daag gaya
Abhijeet: Daya lagta hai,
Khooni bhaag gaya.

 *************************************

 1 Ladki se 1 Ladke ne dil manga
To ladki ne kaha kal dungi
Next day ladki apne sath bachha Lekr ayi or ladke ko de diya kyu?
Dil to bachha he ji.

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 hawo se khe do ham aaye hai,
phir bhi na hate to dhaka mar do,
phir bhi na samjhe to,
pyaar se samjha do.

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 Worst PJ Ever!
How will u differentiate between a Murga and Murgi......
Socho Socho
Ek patthar maro..
agar bhaga to murga aur agar bhaghi to murgi :

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 Why Did Bhajji Slap Sreesanth Last Yr
Aftr D Match He Asked-Oye Paji, LOG CHLOROMINT Q
KHATE HAI-
Bhajji Slapped & Said
-DUBARA MAT PUCHHNA- 

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 Santa:Can I ask u a question..
Banta:You just did.
Santa: okay,
Well can I ask you another question.
Banta:You just did it again. 

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 A bald man had 2 hair on his head.
They both fell in love with each other, but couldnt marry each other.
Why..
Kyunki Baal Vivaah apraadh hai! 

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 Q:- Can you name the Fitness Freak Hollywood actor who carries all his body building machines with him to wherever he goes....
A:- Gym Carry. 

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 Jivan me shanti se jine
ke 2raste
1-Maf kro Unhe Jinhe
Aap Bhul Nh Sakte
ya fir....???
2-Bhul Jao Unhe Jine Aap
Maf Nahi Kr Sakte...

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 Santa ko Computer ki exam me question pucha gya .
"what is Microsoft Exel ? "
Santa"
Its new brand of surf Exel to clean the computer virus...

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 Patla-jai ganesh jai ganesh deva,
mote ki funk nikle pump kre seva
mota-jai ganesh jai ganesh deva,
patle ki haddi tutte doctor kre seva.

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 Tum 70% beautiful ho,
tum 75% sweet ho,
tum 80% noty ho,
tum 95% suchee ho,
tum 100% smart ho ,
jada khush mat hona sab milkar tum 420 ho..

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 sardar radio lekar toilet gaya. Bahar aane par biwi ne puccha; kyoji, mazaa aaya? Sardar: saalo ne"JANA GANA MANA" Laga diya, khade khade karna pada...

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 Arz Kiya Hai...
Zara-Zara kar ke teri
yadoon ka mahal
banate hain,
Illegal construction keh
ke saale Nagar Nigam
wale tod jaate hain...

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 aapki smile ne sara
jahan hila diya,
aapki smile ne sara
jahan hila diya,
COMA se jage huye
mareez ko
permanantly sula diya

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 Kabhi kabhi tension mei sochtha hu ki mar jau
par aplogoki baat sochke marta nahi
Q KI
Q KI
Q KI
Q KI
Q KI
ekhi aadmi tho hei is duniya mei jo smart hei

 *************************************

 wo kaunsi cheez hai jo usi me se nikalti
hai
or usi ko ragadte huye mar jana chahti
hai
ulta mat soch yar......this is machis ki
tili...






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