Kapil Sharma Joke Comedy in Hindi - Jokes in Hindi

Kapil Ko Vodafone Mein Operator Ki Job Mil Gayi.
Magar Pehle Din hi bahut maar
padi aur
nikaal diya gya...
BeCause
First Caller : Mera Vodafone Ka Sim
Kharab
Ho Gaya Hai..!!
Kapil To Pagal Airtel Ka Le Le.....

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 Kapil Sharma vs. Auto rickshaw driver:
Kapil: kitna paisa hua?
Auto wala: 30 Rs..
Kapil: Ye le 15 Rs
Auto Wala: Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to cheating hai
Kapil: Cheating kaise..Tu bhi to baith k aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap? :-D


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 Shamaa bani to parwaane bane
Jaam bana to maikhaane bane
Kuchh to khaas baat hai bittu sharma teri family mein…
Warna, yun hi nahin shehar mein Pagalkhaane bane 


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 Kapil Sharma -
"aur koi bhaai bandhu jo,
koi sawaal puchna chahta hai" ?
actually means - "aur koi bhaai
bandhu jo apni bezzati karwaana
chahta hai"... ?
Agree Na ???




 Boy- Hey
Girl- Today I wanna tell you those 3
magical
words..
Boy- Oh, Wow, tell me fast..
I have been waiting for them!
Girl- Babaji Ka Thullu 


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 Pappu juice wale se :-

Jaldi se juice de ladai hone wali
hai....
ek glass pine ke baad..
ek glass aur de ladai hone wali
hai..
woh bhi pene ke baad......
ek glass aur de jaldi ladai hone
wali hai..
juice wala :- kab hogi ladai?
Pappu :- Jab tu paise mangegaa !!


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 Girl: aaj meri dil ka operation hai.
boy: Pata hai...
girl : I love u
boy : me bhi bahut pyar karta hu
tumse
operation k baad jab ladki ko hosh
aaya to sirf uska baap kadha tha...
girl: wo kaha hai
father: tumhe nahi pta tumhe dil
kisne diya...???
girl: what..??
or zor zor se rone lagi....
father: majak kar raha hu....
kamina bahar samose kha raha hai


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 There are 4 Chambers in Heart :
1 for God
1 for Mom-Dad
1 for Brother's-Sister's &
1 for Love...
What about Friends?
SORRY. No place for Frnds in Heart
Bcoz Tum log to Heart Beat
ho Yaar, Jis k bagair Dil he bekaar hai
1 Like Frnds Ke Naaam 


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 Student's Law Of Tension..
Pressure Is Inversely Proportional
To The
Number Of Days,
Left For the Exams,
Where 'KAL SE PADHENGE'
Remains
Constant.!


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 Ek Ladki Cosmetic Ki Dukan Par Gayi
Aur Dukandaar Se Boli.
Ladki: “Bhaiya, Koi Achha Sa
Shampoo Dena”
Dukandaar Use Ek Shampoo Ki Bottle
Deta Hai.
Ladki: “Bhaiya, Is Ke Saath Jo Free
Gift Hai Woh To Do”
Dukandaar Hairani Se Bola: “Par Aisa
Koi Gift Nahi Hai ”
Ladki: “Magar Bottle Pe To Likha Hai
Dandruff Free“
larki rockkk dukandar shockkkkk


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 Ek aadmi samundar me
nahatay huye doobne laga to us
ne pooja ki
"Hey Bhagvan !
Agar mai bach
gaya to
Biryani ki deg garibo ko
khilaunga"
Ek badi si lehar ne usko sahil pe
phenk dia,
Usne upar dekha aur kaha,
"hehe, Kaunsi Biryani, kaisi
biryani...
Achanak 1 aur lehar usay
wapis ley gayi
to aadmi kehne laga
"mera matlab tha Chicken
ya Mutton ..?"


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 Grlfrnd:" Plz Don't Drink & Drive,
Accident Bahot Ho Rahe Aaj kal..!!
Boy:" Thanks Baby, You're So
Caring..!!
Friend:" Plz Don't Drink & Drive,
Accidents Bahot Ho Rahe ajkal..!!
Boy:" Chal Be Saale Apne Baap Ko
Mat Sikhaa.


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 Real Fact. . .
Bhookh Ki Halat Ho Or 1Roti K 4 Tukde
Ho. .
Khane Wale 5 Ho....
Tab Bhi Ek Insan Hai
Jo Kehta Hai Ki Mujhe Bhookh Nahi
Hai. . . . . .
WO HAI *MAA*
EK LIKE*** toh banta hai MAA ke liye 


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 Cute proposal
Girl:please close ur eyes 4 a
movment.
Boy: Ok
Girl:Andhera dikh raha hai na
Boy:yes
Girl: That Is My Life Without You. 


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 Ek ped (tree) per ek ullu
baitha karta tha..
Ek din ped kaat diya
gaya..
Ped bahot khush
hua, kyuki ab uspar
koi ullu
nahi bethega..
magar us ki khushi
mitti mein mil gai
kyu ki...
Ped ko kaat kar
Pradhaan Mantri ki
kursi bana
di gai... aur Itihaas
gawah hai,
"Aaj Bhi Us Par Ullu
Hi Baithta Hai...
Agree ?? = Thoko
Likes..


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 Old BT nice
Shadi say pehlay,
Boy: Atlast wo din agaya,
Girl: Tum mujhe chor to nai dogay?
Boy: No way aisa sochna b mat
Girl: Wil u kiss me?
Boy: Yes
Girl: Tumhari zindagi mai koi or to nhi?
Boy: No not at all
Girl: do u love me?
Boy: Yes dear
Girl: Oh dear!!
Shadi k baad
Ab zArA uLta sms pArho.


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 Ek Larka-Larki Hotel Me Gaye…
Waiter:- Kya Loge.. ??
Larki:- Sabziyoo Waali Roti..:))
Waiter:- What ??
Larka:- Gaon Ki Hai,city mai new hah
PIZZA Maang Rahi Hai..:
moral:(aakhir ladkiyaan hoti hi hai jahil )


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 Max Share plsss
Maa: Beta Ager Meri Ankhain
Kharab Ho jaye to tum kya karo ge?
Beta: Maa tumhain sheher le jaon
ga wahan ilaaz kerwaon ga.
Maa: Ager phir bhi theek na hui tou?
Beta: Maa main paisay kharch kerun ga
tumhain Bahr Videsh le ja ker Ilaaz karwaon
ga..
Maa hass padi..!!
Beta: Acha Maa ager meri Ankhain kharab ho
jayen to tum kya karogi?
Maa: Mere Lal, main tujhe apni ankhain de
dungi..
No One is better than Mother!!


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 Boy Wrote On His Door..
"plz don't enter in my room, I'm upset."
Lover saw it and went away...
Parents saw it and went away...
But bestfriend came inside with a smile and
said
"kaminey english mai kuch likha hai bahar,
tune english kab seekhi?? Chal party de!"


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 Ek ladka aur ladki ek restaurent me lunch
karne jate h lunch k bad
Ladka: I love you
Ladki: but i dont love you
ladka waiter se: bill alag alag lana
Ladki: i love, i love you, i love you so much
tum vi bdi jaldi bura man jate ho. I am joking


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 BF txt to his GF on watsApp...
BF - Hi
GF - Hello
. BF - Kahan par ho?
GF - Main apne papa ki BMW me
club ja rhi hu, abhi driver mujhe
club chor dega,
uske baad mall
mey shopping k liye jaungi, tab
tumhe call krti hu, Tum kahan pr
ho?
BF - 401 no ki bus me, TUMHARI SEAT K PICHE,
TUM TICKET
MAT LENA MaiNE LE LI HAI...


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 class Me NEW TEACHER aayi aur Sab Baccho se
Apna
naam aur hobbies banate ko kaha
Pehle Ladko ki Bari aayi -
1st boy : Mera Naam Pankaj hai aur Chaand
(Moon) Ko dekhna Meri Hobby hai
2nd boy : Mera Naam Pappu hai aur Chaand
Ko
dekhna Meri Hobby hai
3rd boy: Mera Naam Faraaz hai aur Chaand Ko
dekhna Meri Hobby hai
Aur is tarah sabi ladko ne apna alag alag
naam
bataya Lekin Sab ki Hobby Same hi thi
TEACHER : Ye to bahot hi khushi ki baat hai
sab
ladko me kitni ekta hai sab ki hobby same hai
Ab Ladkiyo ki bari aayi -
1st girl : My name is Chaand :0


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 First Day of college..
Boy sees a beautiful girl sitting right next to
him, & he writes on paper "i love you, do you
love me ?"
She replies"No"
he didn't give up, he rubs her answer &
passed same paper to another girl sitting left
to him.
And she replies"Yes"
Moral of the story is: RECYCLE PAPER and save
trees, save earth !


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 Exam : english litreature
Girl to boy : yaar plss pehle ques. Ka
ans
baata de..
Boy : acha le jaldi likh.
Girl aftr writting the answers: thanks
bro..u
helped me a lot...
...boy shocked ...
Boy : saali bhai hoga tera bf...kamini
galat hai answer..dhung se
padh match ki
commentary likhi hai.....
Boys rockz girls behosh 


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 I am bad in English, But I can tell you that I LOVE YOU..
I am bad in Geography, But I can tell you that YOU LIVE in MY HEART..
I am bad in History, But I can tell you the day I FIRST SAW YOU..
I am bad in Chemistry, But I can tell you what my REACTION is when I SEE you SMILE..
I am bad in Physics, But I can show you the INTENSITY of SPARK in my EYES when they SEE you..
I am bad in every subject, But I can tell you that I can pass ALL SUBJECTS, if you with me..!! 


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 "She: I'm fat
He: No, you are not.
She: Every body ask me to lose my
weight.
He: They are jealous.
She: You don't know anything
He: I know you more than they do, they are
blind.
She: I think you are, not them.
He: Babe, I have seen you dressed
super nice, I've seen you in school
uniform, I've seen you with sweat
pants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on,
I've seen you cry, smile,
laugh, mad, I've seen you sleeping,
wide, hyper, awake, mellow..
You are always so beautiful to me,always
perfect..and you say I dont see you
clearly?
She: *Hugs* I Love you.
He: I Love you more.
She: Why do you care so much?
He: I Care Because I Love You "
Share if you feel true [ ]


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 Boy: I Can Kiss You Even Without
Touching You..
Girl: You Cant
Boy: Chal.. Lagi 50/50 Ki? . Girl: Ok
Boy Tightly Kissed Her
Girl: Hey You Touched Me
Boy: To Le Na 50 Rupye Roti Kyun Hai...


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 Perfect message:
Agr life mein kabhi aapse koi
mistake ho jaye..!
¤
¤
¤
To 2 mins. apni aankhen band
karke..!!
¤
¤
¤
Socho ke...
¤
¤
¤
¤
¤
Iska ilzaam kispar lagaya jaye..!!!


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 Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!" 


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 Exam : english litreature
Girl to boy : yaar plss pehle ques. Ka
ans
baata de..
Boy : acha le jaldi likh.
Girl aftr writting the answers: thanks
bro..u
helped me a lot...
.
.
...boy shocked ...
Boy : saali bhai hoga tera bf...kamini
galat hai answer..dhung se
padh match ki
commentary likhi hai.....
.
.
Boys rockz girls behosh


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 कोहली की महानता के पीछे
धवन,रोहित,रैना जैसो बल्लेबाज़ों का भी महत्वपूर्ण योगदान रहेगा.
ये रन बनाते ही नहीं इसलिए कोहली को मौका मिल जाता है


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 रोहित शर्मा, रहाणे और रैना का कहना है
कि वे जानबूझकर आउट हुए हैं .....
ताकि पाकिस्तान वाले पटाखे लाये
और फिर से पिछली बार की तरह रह जाए 


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 धोनी: आज हमें जीतना ही होगा?
कोहली: क्यों?
धोनी: कटक मैदान में तो पानी की बोतलें फेंकी थी,
आज दर्शक थूक थूक कर यहीं मंगल ग्रह दिखा देंगे।



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