Funny SMS , Hindi SMS Jokes, Shayari, New Funny SMS

GITA UPDESH- mobile nirjiv hai SIM iski aatma hai, SMS wo Gyan hai jo batane se badta hai, ISLIYE hey prani Balance ki moh maya Tyagkar Nirantar SMS karo.......kanjoosi choodo !

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 ek ladki : college me nayi chappal pahan ke ati hai.....!
ek ladka : chappal achi hai.....
ladki : nikalukya.....!
other ladke : teri dress to chappal se bhi achi hai.......
ladki :............

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 Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki
har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hu ki ghar ki bijli katwa du
kambaqt bill bohat aata hai

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 Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?
Intresting Ans
Taki Break-up Krte Waqt YeKeh Ske K Tum Mere Piche Pade The
Mai Nhi....



 Aadmi ka Dil Bahut bada hota hai,
Aur Aurat ka Bahut Chhota Dilhota hai.!!
Proof..
Aurat k Dil me
Sirf Uske Lover aur Pati k liye hi Jagah hoti hai!
But
Aadmi ka Dil
itna Bada hota hai ki Usme
Lover Dost ki
Lover Biwi ki dost
Saamne wali
Bajuwali
Uparwali
Neechewali
Sabjiwali
Doodhwali
Kapdewali
Saali
Kaamwali
Bhai Ki Saali
aur
Thodi bahut
PATNI k liye bhi
Jagah hoti hai.!!!.:p =D :D
Sach me,
Aadmi ka Dil Samundar hota hai..

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 Train me khadi ldki ne platform par khade ladke se pucha-kon sa station h ye?
Ladka-phon no. dogi to bataunga.
Ladki-hey bhgwan JABALPUR aa gya

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 Ek bar santa bank mein paise jama karne gaya.
Officer-ye note fata hai dusra do.
Rajesh-main apne account mein jama kar raha hu; fata karu ya naya karu aapko kya matlab hai.

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 Rohan-yar,pyar hota hai ya karna padta hai.
Mahan-agar ladki khubsurat ho aur scooty par biathi ho to pyar ho jata hai lekin agar ladki khubsurat na ho aur car mein ho to karna padta hai.

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 Girlfrnd:- Am too fed up
From our daily fights
I just wanna break up wid u..
Bf- Ok but first take dis chocolate.
Gf- Aawwww so u dont want me to go,
Manaa rahe ho mujhe chocolate deke.:* :)
Bf:- Nahi meri maa kehti hai
Kuch subh kaam karne se pehle
Muh meetha kar lena chahiye.
"Cadbury dairymilk" khusiyon ki mithas..

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 L.K.G. Boy-Tu muzse shadi karogi?
Girl-Nahi
Boy-karo na. Eclairs dunga
Grl-kaise karu, kisi aur se Dairy Milk ki baat ho chuki hai.

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 BOY-ek ladki ko rose dete
hue kaha YE RISTA KYA
KEHLATA HAI?
GIRL-pavitra rista
B-to Is pyar ko kya naam du?
G- EK hazaro me meri behna
hai.
Poste

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 You know why women starts with 'W'.....
Bcoz all questions starts with 'W'..who?..why?...what?
when?..which?..whom?..where?
&
finally wife...!!!

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 In 2020
Girls- boy ko dekh kar... dekh yar kya item ja raha hai sala
.Oye murgey tera no. kya hai..???
Boy- Behan ji Aap ke gher mein bhai baap nahi hai kay...???
..Girl- Bhai baap hai par tu nahi hai na re chikne.

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two girls are traveling in a train
Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.
Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?
Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.
Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.
UPPER birth pe soya hua Pappu bola:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO MUJHE UTHA
DENA..!
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Ek shaitan baccha unknown
number se call karta hai..!
Ek aadmi uthata hai!
Admi: Hello!
Baccha: Ullo pullo kullo!
Aadmi: Kaun hai be? Baccha: Ek Insan
Aadmi: Wo pata hai naam bol?
Baccha: Main ek ganda bacha hu!
Aadmi: Teri to aisi ki taisi!
Kahaan rehta hai?
Baccha: Prithvi pe! Aadmi: Wo to pata hai, phone kyu
kiya?
Baccha: Tujhe pareshan karne ke liye!
Aadmi: Ruk saale!
Apne baap ko bula!
Chhakke ki aulaad. Baccha: Hello papa, main Pappu!

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Ek aurat koma main chali gai .. .
Pati murda samjh kr jalane chala ....
Raste main arthi khambe se takrane se
aurat ko hosh agaya...
1 saal bad aurat sach main mar gai . . .
Sab log RAM RAM SATYA hai bolty ja rahe thy
Lekin
Pati ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi
KHAMBA BACHA ke. .. KHAMBA BACHA ke

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 Kamina pappu
Class Ki Group Photo Dekhte Hue Teachar
Baccho Se Kahne Lagi Ki.......
Jab tum Log Bade Hoke ye dekogeto Kahoge,,,
Ye Raju Hai Jo America Chala Gya..!
Ye Chandu Hai Jo London Chala Gya..!
OR Ye pappu Hai Jo Wahi Ka Wahi Reh Gya..!
pappu ye sunker gusse se Bola:
or Ye Humari Teachar
Hai Jinka dehant(death) Ho gya..

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 Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki
zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.
Next day zuban cut gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka
hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai...
bahut marta hai.
Next day hath toot jata hai...
Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko
utha le.
Bahut marte hai.
Next day baap ghar aate hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi
hua ??
Baap :- Nahi kyo
Bacha :- Maa kahan hain...??
Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki
death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi
hain..

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Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal...??
Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal.....?
A.C.P bola: Daya , surakshit kaale mere baal , Vasmol ne kiya kamaal..

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 CID Pjs
A 4 Apple
B 4 Banana
wah wah
A 4 Apple
B 4 Banana
Kuch bhi ho jaye Daya goli mat chalana..

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 1 bacche ka mota pet dekh kar 2
girls haskar boli:- oye kake.!
Ye paani ka matka kitne ka hai...??
.Bacha gusse me haste huey nikkar utaar ke bola:- ye le tooti samet 50 Rs. Ka...

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 Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
Teacher: Kya matlab?
Golu: Ji wo
CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai. 

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 Log kehte hai
koshish karte raho..
Har raste par hope hai......
Aankhe dhoondti hai aaj bhi us kamine ko....
Jisne kaha tha "arts' lelo zabardast scope hai...

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 ek baar santa darwaaza tod kar bazaar mein le ja raha tha tabhi banta ne pucha :- ye darwazaa kahan le ke jaa rha hai? santa:- yaar mein is ka taala kulwane ja raha hu

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 1 murgi ne baaj se shadi kr li.
1 murge ne usse kaha kya sare murge mar gaye the?
Murgi-mai kya krti pitaji ki jid thi ki ladka air-force mai hona chaiye

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 Teacher to girl: how many planets r there?
Girl: Mars, Venus, Jupiter.
Teacher: Aur batao?
Girl : Bas sahab badiya, aap sunao! 

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 Aajkal ki ladhiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless
Aur koi ladka ghoor kar dekhe to
KAMINA CHARACTERLESS

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 Boy went 2 Drop Aunti,
Aunti - Raat ho gayi hai bitu ke pass so jao.
Boy - anti sofe per so jaunga
NEXT MRNG
A HOT Girl Making A tea
Boy - AAP ?
GRL - i m bitu & u ?
Boy - ULLU ka PATHA..!!

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 Dosto,aaj hum 1
ajib Prani ke bareme padhenge..
Is jiv ka naam he..
"Girlfriend".
Yeh aksar College me payi jati hai.
Inka poustik aahar he Boyfriend ka BHEJA aur wallet.
Inhe aksar naraz hone ka NATAK karte hue dekha jata hai.
Is prani ka sabse khatarnak hathiyar he RONA or emotionally blackmail karna.
uske Sampark me rehne se TENSION
naam ki bimari ho sakti he,
Jiska koi ilaaj nahi.
bas inse savdhan rehna
"Bharat Sarkar dwara janhit me jari."

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 teacher_ladke or ladki me kya frk h...
stdent_ladki ek saal me ek hi br ma bn skti h...bt
ladka ek saal me kitne b bacho ka papa bn skta ...

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 Teacher: Can u tel the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace into student’s lives?
Stud:
Smo-KING
Drin-KING
&
Bun-KING

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 Ladke wale ladki ke ghar aaye,
Or Pucha: Ladki kuch karti bhi hai?
Ladki ki Maa: Han Ji
34 Rupees me Pure 15000 SMS Karti hai
Woh bhi saare ladkon ko!

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 Read Must :D Dabangg effect-
Sir: Pappu tumhare sare ans galat hai,
marks de to kahan..
Pappu: KAMAL KARTE HO MASTER JI,
MARKS HI TO
MANG RAHE HAI, CHUP CHAP DE DO
WARNA
THAPPAD MAR KE B LE SAKTE HAI.
Sir: Badtameez
kya bak rha hai..
Pappu: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA
MASTER JI, AAPKE
PAPA KAISE HAI..??
Sir: Gadhe,nikal ja class se!
Pappu: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO
MASTER JI,
WARNA ANS PAPER ME ITNE
CHHEDKARENGE, KI
CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI MARKS KAHA
DE AUR ZEro

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 Ladki apne Boyfriend ko naraz
karne ke baad SMS pe kaise manati hai..!!
1st Hour: Sorry
2nd Hour: Sorry plzz..
3rd Hour: Plzz 1 baar baat karlo.
4th Hour: Plzz reply jaan…
5th Hour: Plzzz itna naraz mat ho..
6th Hour: I’m sorry, I’ll die agar tumne baat nahi ki..
7th Hour: Dafa ho, 100 ladke ghumte haitere jaise..
Sar pe hi chadha jaa rha hai, bhaad me jaa..
Boy: Sorry Dear, balance nahi tha.
Girl: Ohh.. Its okkk love u jaan..

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 Best breakup :
Girl:I hate u get lost, I Don't wanna talk to you, This relationship is over-
Boy:what happnd??
I didn't look up with any girl, I love only you..!
Girl:Shut up, i don't wanna be with you, you didn't 'Like' my status on facebook ..!

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 Aapki bato pe dil haru
WAH! WAH! Aapki surat pe jan waru
WAH! WAH! Jis din nahi aata aap ka sms
dil karta hai aapko
patak-patak ke maru!hahahahaha ­hahaha

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 Arz kya hai:
Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,
ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi,
aur
phool khilne se pahle bakri kha gayi.

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 Girl :ap mujhe lift dein gay to main apko apna cell no: don gi
Boy : Jahan chaho wahan chhor don ga,
Numbr vmbr rehne do,
Bas 100 ka petrol dalwa dena baji:)
Uffff “Mehangai ne larkon ko bhi shareef bana diya hai “

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  Santa: Gehri SOCH Me!
Wyf: Kya Soch Rahe Ho?
Santa: Ye ZEE NEWS Walo Ko Kaise Pata Chalta Hai?!
Wyf: Kya?
Santa: Yehi K,
“AP DEKH RAHE HAI ZEE NEWS”. . .

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 Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikli.....
Fiteh Mooh Tusin ethevii aa gaye !!!

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 Fulo Ki Mahak Ko Churaya Nahi Jaata
Suraj Ki Kirano Ko Chhupaya Nahi Jaata
Apni Girlfriend Kitni Bhi Achchhi Ho,
Dusre Ki Girlfriend Ko Bhulaya Nahi Jaata……

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 BOY 2 GIRL-
Likhe jo KHAT tuje,
wo teri YAAD me,
sare padh liye papa ne RAAT me,
Swera jb hua to JUTE pad gye,
wo
"FANAA" wale baal
"GHAJNI" me badal gaye

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 Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mai. Prasad mai Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. YeSMSsirf chuninda bhikhariyo ko bheje ja raha hai..

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 A dost tu jitni achi nibhata ha yaari uski muje puri ha jaankari? To phir dikha apni dildari aur bhej itne msg ke aane na paye meri bari;-)

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 School Me Ek Pathan Bacha Chaku Liye GhumRaha Tha.. Sir Ne Pucha,Chaku Liye Kyo Ghum Rahe Ho..? Bachha: GARIB HU SIR,REVOLVER Kaha Se Laun..?

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 India me ek Ajeeb-o-Gareeb SMS hai,
Bolta B hai
Chalta B hai
Khata B hai
Monchen hen us ki
Pagri pehnta hai
Naam hai uska?
S=Sardar
M=ManMohan
S=Singh;-)

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 Hum chlormint kyon khaate
Hai?
Q ki
5 STAR
Dairymilk
Perk
Kitkat
aur
Munch
50 paise me nahi ate hai!
Ab dubara mat puchna..




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